Hilarious one or two line jokes
Question: If you catch it, you will throw it away. If you don't catch it, you will keep it. What is it?
Answer: Lice
Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall:
"Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!
Why shouldn't you hold a DVD upside down?
Because the data might fall down.
Santa to Banta: I don't have an internet connection at home. Can you please copy the internet on this pen drive for me?
Question: Which day of the week is most hated by fish?
Answer: Fry Day
Short Jokes
Man 1: My son is not listening to anything I say.
Man 2: Is he so adamnant?
Man 1: No, he is deaf.
What do you call a deeply burnt food item in your lunch that is not recogonizable?
UFO: Unidentified Fried Object.
Girl 1: Oh I am doomed! That's my husband coming with my lover!
Girl 2: I was about to say the same-thing too!
Man to miser: Why do you always remove the batteries from the clock and keep them outside?
Miser: I want to extend the battery life and hence I put them in the clock only when I want to see the time.
Ponderism:
Before going to sleep you can say Good Night.
But before waking up can you say Good Morning?
The insult
My brother is a terrible musician. The other day he asked my sister if she had heard his last recital.
She replied: "I certainly hope so".
LOL
Man 1: After buying this new hearing aid, I am able to hear something two blocks away.
Man 2: Cool, how much did it cost?
Man 1: The time is three past ten.
The well behaved son
Lady 1: My son is very well behaved.
Lady 2: How can you say that? Wasn't he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.
Lady 1: Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.
Funny Patients and Doctors
Doctor to a rich man: Do you prefer a local anesthesia?
Rich man: I would rather prefer an imported one.
A woman went to the Doctor and said "When I looked in the mirror
this morning, I saw my hair was frizzy, my skin wrinkly, my eyes
bloodshot – what is wrong with me?".
The Doctor replied "Well the good news is that your eyesight is fine".
